Untitled Document

11.16.2005

puke

It's morning, I roll over on my bed to look outside my window to see a dog taking a shit in the snow in my parking lot. If this is a sign to keep living I guess ill take it.

This was as far as I got on my collum for browneyepie this week before a whicked twichy blue eyed chick came walking into the shop, so I saw the oppurtunity for inspriation and ran with it.

She wasen't looking for me and im glad, looking for a band mate but to her dismay me and bee could not describe the wearabouts of my band mate in a level that she might of comprehended. After a roundabout of right's and left's she just simply asked for a phone number and I put out wrighting the digit's on a slice of paper in front of me.

No answer.(Shit how long is this wench gonna be in here) she sits and looks around the shop as I turn the music up and focus all of my attention on an instant message from greeze as to not give her a chance to start conversation, I trun to look at bee, shit im caught, her mouth moves and with every movement I can feel a cringe in my body, a collapsed vein twitches as she babbles about some one slipping her a date rape drug and ending up in the hospital along with other details I wouldn't want to trouble anyone elses mind with, as she talks I try not to listen by focusing on the intsant messages greeze is droping me. Still no answer on the phone, when will she leave or get pierced or something. Finally she makes one last call, no answer so she askes for a piece of paper and wrights down her numberand gives me a handful of reasons to call her and to make sure my bandmate calls her before six.( Just then in almost cinematics I fall into a flash back. Im sitting in a comfy chair 4 years ago, the same time of year whipping a infants ass and making it's wales of bitchyness into more of a small whimper you should expect from a kid that just got changed outa shitty cloths hed been in for a frew hourss then all of a sudden it just starts screaming after all that shit it's still crying fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck. Shut the fuck up kid , just then a sound a familiar sound "just flush it down the toitlet/" .)

I say yea Il get the message to her before six (I stare back at the computer realy hard to block anyting else out other than my thoughts and greezus's instant message) she gets up to leave and I smile, say goodbye and she does the same. As the door closes I crank up some blatz and me and bee dance happily all over the shop till finaly I sit down to write a column .

Black Hockey Jesus, M.Ed.

Back on the pipe. Damn. My periods of abstinence are shrinking. I went for 6 years the time before this one, but this time only 3. But what's a bunch of time mean anyway? I mean, right now, I'm back on the pipe. So 3 years 6 years 9 years: they're all just a bunch of wispy bits of mental smoke; they're not real, man. The past isn't real; it has no substance. And the future? Fuck you. Myths. The past & the future are myths, myths that help us plan away the only truth we ever had: the present. And right now... I'm back on the mother fucking pipe. And it's a good present. I like gifts. Drugs are good, period. I don't wanna hear about how they kill people. Lots of good shit kills people. Truth be told, life kills people. But I gotta tell you. I gotta be honest with you. The people who rail against drugs are afraid (and it's OK to be afraid; it just sucks when you mask your fear with a superior moral position - like you're not a drug user because you're GOOD and drugs are BAD instead of the fact that you're afraid of what the phenomenology of drug use implies). Drug bashers are afraid of the shocking truth(s) that the use of drugs reveal. If a human being can ingest a substance that significantly alters the way he or she experiences “reality”, it follows that this calls the entire structure of “reality” (from God [ha ha ha] to “you” to time to substance – fucking everything) into question & I'm afraid it's a question that there aren't any cut & dry answers to. And that's what's scary. No matter how radical or rebellious we think we are, we like to know the answers, don't we? We like to know for fucking sure what the Truth is: whether or not there is or isn't a God or if eating a burger is wrong. Well, friends, in the end, in the Endiest of Ends, we're all buried in mud, not when we're dead, NOW, in the mud. The past haunts the future and mountains are made of water. God is dead (it's a metaphor, for fuck's sake, for certainty; certainty is dead!). There's no place to stand. There's no one that stands in that no place to stand. I drank the ocean, bitches. The ocean drank me. How could it matter? I'm back on the pipe. I ate some candy, watched some Simpsons, and giggled. But most importantly, I slipped – I slipped into one of those tiny seams between moments & remembered that what we sometimes mistake for boring is a constantly vibrating source of mystery & amazement. Life is a good question. Isn't it? Isn't the strangeness of Being a good question? Don't kill such an interesting question with answers. Go get some drugs, eat some Doritos, violate your convictions, be who you aren't, change, change, change. Get sober. Get drunk. Go vegan. Senselessly kill a cow. Fucking change. I'm back on the pipe. And I'm also running 5 miles in 38 minutes every other day. Do I contradict myself? Very well then...

B.Hj., M.Ed.

blackhockeyjesus@yahoo.com

travis

There has been some terms that are being thrown around that are kinda pissing me off. Lately I have been hearing all these people talking about "community this" or "community that". And im totally down with community, im totally down with everyone joining together and trying to do awesome things, especially when music is involved. But im more finding out that its not for the whole community, more for the "hardcore community" or the "punk community". I really wish people would support the whole scene and not just their scene. Sure I love the punk rock scene in Muskegon, and its always going to be my favorite, but apparenty there is a very good hardcore scene here too. And every wednesday there is a Open Mic Night at the Blue Note that has no cover charge. Its like going to a free show. And you can get out and show support to a lot of those bands that you dont normally get to see. We need to stop supporting "our scene" and start supporting "the scene". Anyway I know there are some good shows in Muskegon comming up very soon. There may or may not be something at the warehouse this weekend, we shall have to wait for a midweek announcement found right here on brown eye pie. And this friday there is going to be a show at the Eagles club in downtown muskegon put on by 3358 Records. The lineup will be Rick Johnson Rock and Roll Machine, Deadstock, Chinese Happy (from Detroit) and Ivan, and one surprise headliner. I beleive the show starts at 6:30 or 7. Tell all your friends, and if your friends arent going to go, then fuck your friends and go to the show.

Travis 3358
jamminrasta41@hotmail.com

greezus chrust

sitting in front of the keyboard, looking out the window at the bare trees' branches bobbing back and forth in the slight cool breeze. the leaves scattered throughout neighborhood yards, stumbling on the curb before dying in the gutter below. i watched a squirrel collect berries from the branch closest to my window for about two weeks. climbing out as far as possible, the squirrel would pull the end of the branch to it's mouth and bite off the few red berries that remained. over and over. there aren't many berries left. the squirrel is long gone. days have turned to grey and it's dark by six p.m. it must be fall in michigan.

my ssi appeal is coming up one of these months. i'm jonesing to go to the record store so bad. although i think i'd much rather do mailorder right now and get something that i know i'd like. like the new lack of interest album. those dudes rule! thanks to derek nothing, i have gotten to hear the full length from IWKYF and brainoil's current release, both on life is abuse (.com). bronwen found this band we've been listening to a lot called tegan and sara- i guess they're sisters. i wouldn't really call it punk... more on the indie side of things, but they are fucking rad none the less. in local news, badcocks recently recorded three new songs. there's a little bit to finish up, but it'll be ready by christmas. i ran into technical difficulties with the TWAT dvd, so i don't know the status with that. tough shit was better than ever at the last warehouse show. i don't see anything from them except getting better and better. tough shit. twat force five's first show since the tranny tribute last january went alright. art is a gem. in and out of costume. twat force five puts the show back into the show. i can say that without prejudice.

i just saw two school shootings on the news. what the fuck is going on today? we thought about that shit in our day, but that's as far as it ever went. a thought. those thoughts were never put into action. were never written down. they were never more than just that. a thought. wishful thinking. and access to firearms was probably easier and more convenient. not that it isn't today, but there weren't as many restrictions. i don't know what i'm getting at, other than the original question- what the fuck is going on today!?! been watching court tv. the smith trial... the dude that raped and killed that 11 year old girl. that shit is fucked up too. what a sicko. fucking florida... what a wang. florida- don't it look like a wang? i'd rather live in the mitten state than the wang state.

i'm thinking about doing a once a month podcast. thinking. and that's as far as that has gone. but it's a possible idea on the burner. a new frontier.

jessi sadistic

Due to having saw a great fest this weekend, I'll be abonding the ABC posts for this week, instead reflecting on last weekend.

Horrible Fest- an event that lived up to it's name. There were good bands, and good times, but man, was there ever some fucked up shit that happened. On last Wendsday night, I headed to Kalamazoo to meet up with my friend E-Street. I slept over at his house so that when we got up in the morning we could head out to Cleveland, and to Horriable Fest. The drive down was great. Eric is good company, and we had good music to listen to. The drive took just over 4 hours, then we found the venue. Since we had got into town early, we did some record shopping, then were directed to a Christian bookstore on the corner for a great meal. Spicy seafood gumbo and a piece of apple caramel cheesecake. Yeah... it ruled. The show on Thursday was at the Beachland Tavern. With $3 tall cans, and good friends on hand, the night started out great. Sherri had flown in from Texas, and Coppens and a good number of Chicago kids were also in town. I also met a few of the TB'ers that I had not met before- the Pittsburg crew- Vinnie, Steve Beat, and Dan. Steve was a total ass, and that's why I like him best. A male version of me. All for fun, and not down with anything else. Vinnie has to be the coolest 17 year old kid I've ever met in my entire life. I wish I had been as cool as him at 17. All of the bands on Thursday were great, with the exception of the opener, a band called the Butchers. Schtick schtick schtick... and not much else. They bored me to death. Radio Beats played next, and they were a compleatly great time. I had previously confused this band with the Radio Reelers who I absolutly hate, so it was a pleasent surprise that they didn't blow one. They played a fast furious set, and I danced my ass off bouncing between Vinnie and Coppens the whole time. The Trailor Park Tornados were the next band on deck, and I was vaugely familiar with them at that point. I had heard several of their tracks through comps and such, but I didn't own anything by them otherwise. They played a great show, and I look forward to picking up their full length when I have the cash to do so.
Jeffrey Novack's One Man Band was the next act to grace the stage. I had heard nothing but good things about Novack, and he lived up to my expectations. With a drumstick rubber banded to his wrist, and the scream of a young Jay Reatard, he had me compleatly entranced.
Then... one to the BBQ/King Khan show. With every night that I had seen them in the last two weeks (that being five times) they continued to impress me. I'm compleatly in love with them, on and off the stage. I shook it real low, and every where in between. King Khan later gave E-street the best compliment that I've ever had. "I wish we could play for you kids every night. You have more fun than anyone else, and love us more than anyone else."
The Black Lips finished off the night, and I thought that they finished off my life at the same time. The new songs are soo amazing, and I seriously haven't got "Katrinia" out of my head since the first time I saw them this tour. They were at their peak in Cleveland. There was a Cake fight, baby! for Sherri's birthday. Imagine sliding around dancing in frosting. A better time could not be had. That is, except for my skirt falling down while Khan was dancing on the speaker box right behind me.
All through the show Eric and I tried to find a place to stay, which ended with us following Russ and the Radio Beats to some party. Said party sucked. Except for Steve. Well, besides him almost getting his ass beat by Ryan. That was not so fun. John Feeler had me hysterically laughing until we passed out. Then, that's when the weekend turned for the worse. While I passed out, Russ got creepy with me. Luckily Eric was awake. Although he did get called "faggot" for telling Russ to stop looking up my skirt because I was passed out. He ended up waking me up, and we slept in the car. The next morning was fine. We went to a record store, hung out with the kids from Shoot it Up and the Radio Beats, then headed to the show. As soon as we got there I saw tons of Milwaukee friends. The Holy Shit/Catholic Boys dudes were in town, and I was exstatic to see them. After much hugging and jumping around, and some KFC, we went into the show. The Gallery it was at ruled! $1 beers and free smokes all night long! The first band of the night was called Homo Stupids, a great hardcore band from Clevo featuring a memember of 9 Shocks Terror. They were amazing. The best ten minute set I've seen in quite some time. I hate saying a band was "tight" because most people say that when they have nothing good to say about a band. I really liked Homo Stupids though, and hope to get them up in MI sometime soon. Holy Shit was the next band,and they tore the place down. It was one of the best sets I've seen out of them in quite some time. And I'm not just saying that because of the whiskey Tab Man was basically force feeding me. They sounded amazing.
Rat Traps from Tenn played next. The band features Jeffery Novack of the one man band fame, his sister April who rules, and her husband. They were dynamic. Fast danceable garage punk with violent edges throughout their set. I can't wait to see more of them in in the near future.
Shoot it Up from Cali was up next. I hung out with these kids most of the weekend, and they were great on and off the stage. Their set was a great mixture of hardcore and rock and roll that really had this girl movin'. They also did a Clash cover that was unexpected, but sounded great. Hearing them taunt the "old faggy Clevo bald bastards" had me giggling. Great fun. I sat out the next two bands, Clockcleaner and Wolfdowners. Sludgy hardcore does nothing for me, and they weren't nearly as crazed as I had been promised. In the words of Lastname-"BORING!"
However, during the time I spent sitting out I:
-smoked with Darius
-put out a fire
-punched Matt Coppens
-drank
-hung out with Shoot it Up
...basically had a great time.
After what seemed like hours of sludge, breakdown,grind, sludge- HUMAN EYE took the stage.
I love Human Eye more than life, and they proved just why I am as obsessed with that band as I am. Honestly, it was one of the less insane times I've had seeing Human Eye. But they sounded soo GREAT. For those of you not familiar, Human Eye rose from the ashes of the great Clone Defects. They are a sonic assult of noise and a fuision of melody that overwhelms my brain to the point that I don't know if I exist, or perhaps what I have been doing in non existing. Anyway, I was in a Human Eye trance, dancing until my feet bled. My favorite part of the entire weekend was dancing like a robot with Steve Beat during the dancy fun time song that Human Eye does which name always escapes me. Lights flashing, paint being sprayed, it was an absolute release of everything bad in my life through a dance trance. Human Eye is life.
After the show, the entire place was tacoed. Beers, burn marks, and toliet paper covered every crevice of the building. We busted out, and shared a room with the Catholic Boys crew.
The next morning we went out for pizza, then spent the whole afternoon exploring Cleveland thrift store, antique stores, and pawn shops. We also went to a fantastic pet store where a pug puppy fell in love with me and wanted me to take it home. Eric fell in love with a baby crocadile and wanted to take it home. We did not. We did watch a monitor lizard eat a mixture of scrambled eggs and mouse.
The show on Saturday night was great. The first band, the Jeffs, not so good. But the Krunchies were on next. It was a subpar Krunchies experiance, but not to the bands fault. The sound in the Beachland Ballroom was horriable, and you couldn't hear Amanda's vocals. I was bummed out. Until King Louie set up and started playing between sets. King Louie's One Man Band was one of my favorite parts of the weekend. Stompy songs about feet stakin' and cabbage cooking. He played two small sets inbetween bands before he was too drunk to continue on. Functional Blackouts played a great set. They're back to sounding how they did, amazing. It's been awhile since I enjoyed seeing them, but I honestly had a great time while they played, dancing like a compleat retard the entire time.
Upstab played next, and I went into the other room to hang out with Kat. Supposedly the craziest band in hardcore, they bored the shit out of me. No amount of firecrackers could change that for me.
Cuntpuppet was up next. Let me attempt to explain this. Are they a joke? Are they really that rednecked? Who cares! They ruled, for the five songs they got to play before they were so rudely ended. I showed them my boobs. John Reject did not seem to think this was amusing. Oh well, can't please everyone. They were pleased though, and I was felt up to most people's gasps. I thought it was hilarious, and danced. They have a new song called "Shocker" you know where that's going, and it's great. Two in the pie, one in the eye! That's the battle cry! They're going to come play Muskegon/Kalamazoo soon, and we're going camping with them. It will rule. The Feelers played a great, high energy set... but the vocals went out again. Total crap. But I did enjoy nearly fighting with a bouncer for trying to rough up Joe from the Rat Traps.
Catholic Boys were up next. The best I've seen them in quite some time, once again. They played a great mix of old jams and new. I exploded in dance, as did most people in the room. I was incrediably wasted by this time, and had been kissing a dude, so I was in great spirit. Catholic Boys owned Horriable Fest, hear this!
The Jabbers were the final act of the fest. They weren't as bad as I feared. Wimpy from the Queers is currently handling vocals, and not badly. My only complaint is though they played 30 odd songs, "Don't Talk To Me", the best Jabbers song of all time, was not one of them. We then drove home, after I said a painful goodbye to friends. There was a lot of bullshit that went on throughout the weekend,mostly involing douchebags from Flori-DUH, but all in all it was a great time.

Jessi Sadistic
imanupstart@hotmail.com