Untitled Document

12.12.2005

sock

I had a long ass column that was really funny, and still IS really funny to
me, but that will have to in here next week. Because I am not at my
computer and won't be till tuesday. So poop on Sock, and be at the show on
Friday: Weaving The Deathbag from WICONSIN
http://www.weavingthedeathbag .com
http://www.hungryghostsrecords .com
I'm sorry for promises of coming to the show saturday and for tofu bacon
promises. I was upset with myself and my back, which was acting up, and the
Palmer Hall ride left me in need of a day of rest. Sorry sorry sorry. I
heard I missed a wild finger fucking anal all male orgy! What the fuck! I
didn't know that If I Had A Hi Fi was queer!!! I definetely would have
hitch hiked or done something desperate (short of getting it on with anyone
from them or the Defuctives; i heard they were all creeps)

Ned Nibiru ruled on Friday. Why such the small crowd? They were the best
part of the night! Someone's tits got grabbed, twisted and sucked peanut
oil off (that's what i heard) and some one with a shaved head grabbed my
penis and told me not to tell anyone. Other than that, it was a somewhat
uneventfull night. Good seing lots of faces, though, it was weird not
seeing greeze or bronwen there. A rarity that ya'll aren't at a palmer show.
you were missed. to be honest...

Thanks to the dairy free baked goods buyers, and thanks for developing the
munchies, however you may have done that! We made back most of our money we
bought ingredients with (which were all organic by the way).
Don't steal from the Health Hutt! Or any small business!

PEANUT BUTTER CUPS
1 cup soy not oi margarine
1 package of graham crackers, smashed up with your boots/fists/head
1 cup melted chocolate chips (in a double boiler, or small pot in larger pot
of boiling water)
1 cup peanut butter

mix the melted margarine, g. crackers, and p. butter and pour into muffin
tins.
chill in the fridge till they get real HARD and STIFF and then pour the
chocolate over them and put them back in the fridge for a long time. they
will get real hard and sucullent? and then you stick them in your mouth and
they are good....

jessi sadistic

First off, I'd like to thank everyone that came out to the Warehouse show on
Saturday. IFIHADAHIFI had a great time, and are looking forward to coming
back in the near future. I have to say it was one of the best weekends that
I've ever had in Muskegon, and gives me faith that things are definatly
taking a turn for the better. The Palmer show was a lot of fun on Friday
too. Thanks to the kids that set that up, and to NED NIBIRU for rocking my
face off, even it they are old as hell. (You guys no I wouldn't fuck with
you if I didn't love you.) Also, a huge thanks to James, Bri, and Rachel for
welcoming the HIFI into their house, and letting me use their kitchen to
cook up a batch of super tasty pasta bake. No thanks to kids that can't take
a joke, snow,my car's passenger window for fucking up and falling down into
the door, and China Express for not being open on a Sunday.
This weekend is going to be another great weekend of music. WEAVING THE
DEATHBAG from Wisconsin will be playing at the Warehouse on Friday with
local openers. I've seen them, probally 4? or so, times this year... and
they are great. Make sure to make it out if you can. Sunday there is another
show at the Warehouse with some fantastic bands. It's an early show since
it's a Sunday, doors at 7 pm. The BILL BONDSMEN from Detroit (
http://www.myspace.com/thebill bondsmen ) will be in town that night. Check
out their myspace, they have some mp3's up of their stuff. Fantastic fast
old school punk rock. The tracks will speak for themselves. I picked up
their 7 inch about a year ago, and have been obsessed with it since. You'll
understand why as soon as you hear them. They'll also be playing with SOVIET
UNION from Grand Rapids, and local favorites TOUGH SHIT. $5 at the door.
Come check it out...

and on to the alphabet... saving the world one letter at a time....

D is for the Descendents.

"My day will come...
I know someday,
I'll be the only one."

For four years the song "Hope" was the one thing I identified with. I
thought someday he'd realize I was the only one. I was wrong, but the
Descendents helped me get though several tough times. Unrequited love,
friends with heroin addictions, burying someone you cared about when they
were too young- the Descendents were always there for me. That's more than I
can say for most people in my life. Still to this day, if I'm feeling down,
I'll look into a mirror and scream "I'm Not A Loser!" at the top of my lungs
until I feel better.
I still can't get into ALL, and perhaps someday I'll understand the
attraction, but for me, it never will get better than "Milo Goes to
College". The album is flawless. One of the few records that I can
objectively say is perfect in its enterity. Fantastic lyrics, and high
energy melodies that never leave your brain once you've heard them. There is
nothing better.
I've never seen the Descendents live, nor do I think that I'd want to at
this point. The last album had a few tight tracks, but I think I'm just too
young to have seen this band when I should have. Sad, but it's not like
there aren't eleven million bands that I can say the same thing about.

Alright kids... see you on Sunday. And Friday.

-Jessi Sadistic
imanupstart@hotmail.com

greeze

i keep asking myself "what the fuck am i doing!?!" living in capital city, yet still trying to make this site- mainly for people in muskegon. and to top it off, not one columnist this week is from muskegon. what the fuck is that all about!?! i've been here since july and only know one person- joe (forever youth). he happened to move here too. he's having a couple basement shows this month:
sunday dec.18th 419 shepard st. lansing mi. 48912
6pm sharp $5 for touring bands..........
murder of crows [wisconson crust punk]
loaded for bear [chicago grind kings]
sadistic slaughter [the best band in mi.]
bearforce [lansing buttrock]
manic asshole [chicago]

also dec.27th at the same house the same time and
price.
disease called man [brutal crust grind from dc]
btom [pittsburg pa]
shitfucker [detroit]
1 more

-i'm hoping to make it to those, even though what little money i do manage to scrape up is used to get back and forth from here to muskegon and back a couple times a week for band practices and shows and what not. fucking money.... and even though i manage, i'll bet that nobody from muskegon is at those shows...fuckers.

i've been reading a lot this past week. i read the family by ed sanders, and then i read th intros and extra chapters in the updated second version. i read me talk pretty one day, a collection of essays by david sedaris, which is really funny. and now i am getting into bird by bird by anne lamont. the last two were bronwen's suggestions, and great suggestions they have been. after bird by bird, i am planning to start my own book. and as far as reading goes, next up is manson in his own words. if you are thinking about writing, bird by bird would be an excellent book to read before you start!

as far as art goes, i've got a block in my head. what a blockhead. a couple paintings in the works, but not much. i've only done a handful of paintings this year, and nothing that i am that thrilled with. ahh- a couple are alright i guess. although i haven't put them up yet on my art site, dvntarts.com.

mike sardine

shit man...lost the ticket, dropped the ball, flushed the toilet: I haven't written a column in a few weeks. not sure if mine are that interesting anyways, but it feels good to sit down and vomit on the keyboard, and get it out there. maybe someone will be sitting around one day and read it, and then say, "hmm, that makes a lot of sense." but what am I talking about, my columns aren't that interesting.

I moved to a new place in the Zoo. it's nice, complete with hardwood floors and oak trim. got a big room, a big bed, a big appetite, a big body with an average sized pecker. Eh, life's not so bad. Broke up with my girlfriend, then we got back together. What the fuck, why do people let themselves get dragged through broken glass like that...i did. makes you feel miserable, more than average, and you sit alone with a broken heart a blank stare, and no motivation to eat or sleep or talk to anyone. But things go on, we all become desensithized to the world around us. black isn't so dark anymore, the light isn't so bright. the feelings that used to comfort us get lost into the night. But things go on. the bitter sun fades, leaving us lost, wandering through the darkness within our minds to a place so crisp and serene. a place of peace within ourselves that shows us we will always have ourselves.

choir kids are singing in the student commons, where i am right now. i got a good laugh from the distorted CD accompanyment blairing over 15 meek students shifting their eyes across the mocking crowd. gotta run, next weeks publication will be seen right here, on Brown Eye Pie.