browneyepie columns august 2008

august 2008

just a little note to let ya know that not everyone has their columns in yet, so i'm posting as is and will add them as they come (so keep on scrolling that little wheel to you get to more juice!). this was supposed to be up the first week of august, so apparently we're all running on punk rock time so i guess that makes it alright... and oh yeah- we're gonna try this monthly and see how it goes... xoxo greeze!

CASEY

Summer is coming to a close. I broke my damn wrist. this is such a bummer.
SUMMER BUMMER.
where are all the muskegon shows at! someone fucking set something up!I
am working on a "SUMMERS NOT OVER UNTIL YOU LET IT DIE" BANDSHELL SHOW at
the McGraft park bandshell, oddly right near there is where I broke my
wrist.

anyways, great topic! here is my column!
I first didn't really know I was punk until after I moved out of my
parents, oddly enough about 2 and a half years of going to shows. I mean
sure I had a tri-hawk, a patched up vest, and hated george bush, but just
like all my other friends who did during the same time, where the fuck are
they? Working factory jobs, in the army, dead, still leeching off their
parents watching wrestling matches... you get the point. People called
us punks then, but obviously they proved themselves they werent. Punk is
much more than how you look, its your mindset, who you are and who you
will always be. I remember my first show was a fruitport bandshell show,
duckbombs first show. I remember I had cut up an old pair of jeans and
wrote band names all over them with a sharpee, and put some home-made
patches on it with safety pins. I had taken an old tanktop and drew a
duckb with some tnt strapped to its back, because I had loved listening in
with scott jensen on the stairway downstairs during duckbomb practices,
and when they were done and heading to come up stairs I'd run up the
stairs so penguin, monkey mike, sock, and sardine didnt know I was
listening in. that first show was somethin' else. Like nothing I had
ever been to in my life. Filled with alternative types of kids from all
over the area. People who didn't give a shit about football players, and
preppy cheerleaders. I loved it.
Like I said that may have been the part of my life that opened the gate
into punk, but that wasn't the defining moment. I remember sitting in the
Hippie House, the first house I lived in after moving out of my parents,
realizing this is it. This is where my life starts. Im to fucked up and
in love with this loud noise to turn back now. There is no longer an
opportunity to ever fit my deformed jagged piece back into the puzzle of
society. No going back!!! CRANK UP THE DS-13!!!!!!!!!!!!

SOCK-------->

Before you mentally grow and develop in certain areas of your life, you
wonder how you could possibly ever reach a certain point of knowledge and
make that oh so illusive discovery. It's a combination of intensely
wanting the answer and of that lost, unsure feeling of uncertainty and it
really irks you and is ripe breeding ground for some heavy anxiety. "What
is my future!?" Uncertainty plagues until one day it hits you. It seems
like it comes suddenly, but it's just hard to identify the learning,
growing process of life. If you document your life, maybe in writing, you
may have a better idea of the progression of things, but if you are just
throwing yourself out there with no account to compare now to then, expect
to perhaps stumble upon that feeling of emotional immobility, or halted
progression in the mind and in the journey of collected knowledge that is
this existence...

I spent a really long time wishing, wondering and doubting if I was punk.
It went from that insecurity to an explosion one day; "Well, duh. I'm
fucking doing what's right for me." This supposedly sudden realization was
escorted into my head with brutal grace by the words, ideas and music of
outspoken bands like Aus Rotten, Los Crudos, and Minor Threat. I did so
much stressing and fretting and wondering in my early years of being punk
that I didn't have the right records, patches, clothes, hair, ideas. I
wouldn't have said it outright like that back then, (I'm actually sure
that I would have denied it!) but that insecurity was always looming in my
head. It really made things shaky, with punk and my life as one a time of
present fun, but bringing on feelings of nervousness and wishfullness for
the future; there was no solid foundation that I had, nothing I could
concretely vocalize for my reasonings as to why I live d the life i did,
along with the ever-nagging voices of teachers, parents, relatives and my
own self-questioning: IS THIS SUSTAINABLE BEYOND HIGH SCHOOL? I was bent
on proving that it was so, and here is that wishing; i had no idea what
life would be like then and i WANTED so bad to continue punk on, but the
future was scary and weird to think about. I had no idea what doing my own
laundry was like, i eventually became vegan and started cooking for myself
(my parents were confused, concerned and unsupporitve of my new diet
choice... how could they be supportive of a vegan diet, something they
knew nothing about) but didn't cook for myself at all before that, and I
spent all my money on punk records, shows, and mountain dew and had no
idea what paying bills and rent would be like... SO... Insecurity of this
punk thing. I knew I wanted to live for myself, to do my own thing, I knew
I didn't need the money others did. I also knew that I didn't know for
sure, that I was confident in my beliefs and my rough ideas for life but
that motherfucking nagging voice in my head; "YOU DON'T REALLY KNOW YOU
FUCKING PRIVILLLIGED SUBURBAN WHITE BOY!" My response, "True," and I was
anxious as hell to find out if I was a fucking flake, or if I really could
create a life I envisioned in my dreams. But, I moved out. My parents went
on vacation and Marhsall Redder presented himself, the beginning of my few
year relationship with this slumlord, and I moved out. It turned out I
didn't need lots of money, it turned out that I had a bit of a money
saving problem, and I bought lots of records, but I didn't need a fancy
car (I actually got rid of my car and took up a bicyle) I didn't need
expensive clothes, or money for movie theatres, or all of the mainstream,
costly "in" stuff. And quickly I started seeing how bullshit all of the
punk "rules" were, and that really there weren't any. It finally comes
that punk is you, and it is what you want it. There is no general
concensus or anything, you have complete creative control. It's a simple
theory; be you. Fuck what anyone thinks. And in order to be yourself, you
should feel completely comfortable attending the basis of this movement; a
show where bands play. So, things factor in here where some may say that
rules are being created: Bullshit like mysogny and patriarchy, racism,
transphobia and homophobia, sizeism and ageism are all inhibiting factors;
destructive, disgusting, and/or boring roadblocks on the path of creating
space where everyone is welcome. You can find racism in your local police
department, you can find ageism in bullshit rock n roll or dance clubs,
you can find beauty standards in glossy magazines and tv, you can find
queer and transgendered fear and repression in government policy, and you
can find sexism and masculinity in everything from the U.S. war-mongering
machine to out of control dudes who can't keep their dick under control or
open their ears to a woman's voice. And with all this bullshit going on, I
want to kill myself. It gets overwhelming and NOT fighting it is not an
option. Punk can be a tool to fight it. We can use punk to take our
brewing anger and direct it onto our enemies instead of letting it brew
and develop beer bellies and drug addictions, dramatic squabbles over
embarrassingly trivial shit, or compounding frustrations that lead to dead
ends of confused purposelessness, veering into directions towards
"respectable" things (to society) like producing MORE humans (just
because), suit and tie and factory jobs, and years of schooling and debt
in attempts to find reason, all the while piling up credit card bills and
more financial catch up with our spending on possessions to try to fill
the voids in our heads and hearts. Punk is gross when it doesn't deal.
Punk is a waste when it doesn't deal. I got really mad super excited when
I found out that this hardcore sound could produce something and it didn't
have to mirror the annoying rock n roll world of band-above-fan dichotomy,
substanceless lyrics, and drug/alcohol/tobacco worship (ok so punk is like
that a lot; and i'm down with to each their own, but we got some work to
do on some of our obsessions...). Gotta (loosely from my shaky memory)
quote my soundtrack right now, GOVERNMENT ISSUE: "I don't wanna listen to
it We don't wanna dance to it. We don't wanna hear it. Rock N Roll
bullshit!" I'm so lost in all my anger and flurry of words that just flew
out, I gotta fucking wrap this up:
I knew I was punk when I saw that it could be an opportunity to build a
community and network of allies, of friends who are pissed about the way
this world works and that it could give us a temple of worship to play our
fucked up songs and dance in fucked up ways and sing thru fucked up
un-insured vocal chords and that you could be your dorky, nerdy, ugly,
fat, gross, misunderstood, freaky self and no one laughed or cared or
tried to impose violence or intimidation on you. When punk becomes these
horrible, oppressive things I am pissed and insanely defendant of the
right to all to be themself, and I get proud and keep that vision of what
it can be and I find ways to fight these narrow minded society-imitators.
I knew I was punk when I saw what the world was about and that we could
create an escape and vent from it while balancing the vital need to combat
the stuff we disliked. Don't disrespect the vent need and don't disrespect
the political drive of punk. That balance is what makes me punk for life.

-------------- CORTNEE --------------

When DID I know I was punk? I know it wasn't right away. There was a good amount of time in which I was extremely insecure and concerned about my status as a punk rock girl. You know those moments- when you first buy those Chuck Taylors and dirty them up before anyone can see you in them. How EMBARASSING! When you, like Casey Loring, pretend you know anything about Aus Rotten when you don't, just so you look uber-KEWL. I can't say there was a defining moment for me. I can, however, say there was a defining year. My 15th summer was punk as fuck and I can remember feeling incredibly invincible during that time. That invincibility translated to punk rock for me. All I know is- after that 15th summer- I embraced my status as a punk rock girl. Shit, punk was all that mattered at that point.

Ahh- that first show memory will never leave me. Early 2002. The week before the show was to happen, I began seeing fliers around my 8th grade hallways. I remember they were light blue, with black text and the bands slated to play that night were Duckbomb, STUVWXYZ, Vitamin R, and a few more. It was at the Spring Lake Village Hall (RIP) and I was stoked on the entire thing. I'd been introduced to punk through my new best friend Sarah and we each had yet to attend the elusive and almighty "SHOW". So, naturally, we went together. Our parents dropped us off outside the venue and we walked into this entirely new world: Paid five dollars at the door, got our hands sharpied with some offensive material, and got ready to turn our respective worlds upside down. If only we'd have known how many times we'd pay five dollars, get our hands sharpied with offensive material, and turn our respective worlds upside down in the future.

Before the show began, an acquaintance of mine, some older punk boy, took me by the hand and began introducing me to all the key players (ha!): Sock, Penguin, Mike Savina, Monkey Mike, Bryan Willits, Kris Wierenga, Andy Savina, Jimmy Wronski, Paul Fett, Brett Dierolf, Ryan Ruffener...etc, etc.

Duckbomb played and I was absolutely blown away. I'd downloaded their songs off their website previously, but seeing them live was something entirely new and exhilirating to me. I danced that night like no one was watching and couldn't stop smiling. The rest of the bands were exciting, but didn't come near to the explosion in my head that Duckbomb brought. STUVWXYZ would have (and did, in the future), but before STUVWXYZ got a chance to play, I got asked by my older punk boy escort to "go upstairs". Not knowing what that meant, but having a feeling, I went. As STUVWXYZ started playing their first song, I started making out with my first blue-haired, leather-jacket-clad, screeching-weasel-patched-up boy who smelled like alcohol, cigarettes, and leather. How perfect, romantic, sweet, and PUNK. I'll spare you the rest of the dirty details. Lets just say a punk show wasn't my only "first" that night. LAWLZ.

So- 14 and feeling on top of the world- I stepped outside and was immediately approached by a boy in a slip-dress and combat boots, puking on a corner: "Hey...I remember you..." he slurred. "Uhh..." was my only response. If only I'd known he'd turn out to be an incredibly important person in my life only a year later. If only I'd known everyone at that show would have held my heart at some point, for some reason, in the coming years. Wah wah wah...I'll never forget yah! Thanks to punk. And to this day, I haven't looked back. Don't know who or where I'd be if Sarah hadn't invited me to her 14th birthday party in 8th grade. The beginning of the End.

Thanks to punk rock and all the good times and best friends I've made as a result. Awwwe- so touching. Fuck you, I'm still punk!

--------------------------------------------------------- DEREK FUCKING JONES -----------------------------------------------------------
coming soon!!

--------------- KEVIN ---------------

i knew i was punk when i fucked your mom and slipped it in her asshole without lube or warning, i knew i was punk when i got knocked on my ass and picked myself back up. my memories are faded and parts even gone or stored away i can't pin point the exact time i becAME punk . i don't even know if i became punk, im not sure how the punk point system works im just not that quick., one time in 7th grade i had these jeans and i put patches on the knees caus they always wore out fast and this chick said it was punk, i thought it was cool i even had a mohawk to sport isn't that cute this is the time in my life my folks would call the decline, this music i was listening to was crazy, my grades were horrible and i would have my friends over and we bring out instuments and make loud ass noise for a couple hours, smoke shit and jump around, my parents literaly thought i was doing drugs ( i was ) . i hated the town i lived in, i hated the people in my life, i hated everything going on, i finaly said fuck it and walked away from it all, it wasent worth it, i was worth more.

my friends big sister used to fool around with some of the cocksnot kids she'd let me and her kid brother tag along to grand rapids wed all get dressed up and head out, we had never seen this shit before, we knew it exsisted but not in our town, kids living on thier own, kids playing music, no parents or anyone telling them what to do they just did whatever felt good, it sounded good in my little adolecent brain. theres a handfull of shows i rememeber but can't recall witch one is my first i remeber one of my first ice pick shows was the badcocks and some one else i don't even know but there were beer cans flying poeple shouting it was awsome i scored a few beers i felt like king shit, my friends big sister was all about it, enough to let tt allin see her biggltittits, but i think thats all she wanted was attention caus she and her brother left the punk thing shortly after that. on our way back to our shitty little town with my head against the window, ran down from trying to keep up from running around all night, i thought this is worth it ,this was fun, this is way better than drinking beers around big trucks on two tracks beating up on queers and fucking sheep.

-------------
PHILL MEEH
-------------
coming soon!

http://www.myspace.com/phillmeehspits
http://www.myspace.com/finale
http://www.myspace.com/magestiklegend
http://www.myspace.com/onebelo
http://www.myspace.com/detroitwisemen

--------- Travis ----------

Punk rock. Those words can mean so much and encompass so much music. I guess for me there was no defining moment when I found out I was a punk. I know I had behavioral patterns and thinking patterns that aligned with being a punk. I didnt know why I had these patterns, felt this way. Its just how it was. How it is. How it always will be. I thought I was an outcast, then I found punk. Happened when I was 16 or so. I really dont think I will ever change. I really dont remember my first show. I rememeber some memorable ones though... some of the basement shows at the 4th and Monroe house were amazing. And the time big kev played an acoustic set for christmas was pretty awesome too. Then a couple years ago when I rented the ice pick to have the wack trucks play for christmas was pretty big for me. The biggest show I have thrown in the ice pick. That moment meant a lot to me. The first time I put on a show at the ice pick was infact pretty big for me.

In still dealing with punk rock though, I guess one of the first records I fell in love with was Refused- the shape of punk to come. Every song on that record I feel is just amazing. The music and the message are both just so important and inspirational to me. I love it all very much. Anytime im feeling down I can listen to that record and I always feel better. I can listen to it to get hyped up for a show or for anything. And its perfect bike riding music. I can peddle for hours to that album.

The ending thing is... punk rock is my. Its my life. Its everything about me. As Casey would say... "Dont be an idiot, stay punk!"

---------------------------------
JEFF
---------------------------------
coming soon!

------------------- Rob ------------------
coming soon!

----------lindsay--------------

---------- Zach ----------

how i knew i was punk, shit that is a big topic to cover. id have to say in one word duckbomb that really epitomizes my life as a punk thats where it started it was the first time i saw a group of people who didnt give a fuck what i or anyone else thought about what they were playing and my parents hated it and didnt understand and my friends and i could get together and play those songs and then we started making up our own. the first show i can think of that was big to me to get me into punk was a show at a vfw in muskegon it was an all day show set up by karen. it had everybody playing that i had just recently got into bands i still love. i had always liked music before i knew punk but i dont think i would still be playing music today if i hadent been introduced to punk. punk means so fucking much to me it cannot be replaced and will not be replaced. its the only music where you do only what you want to, you can learn only the amount of the instruments as you feel like and progress (or choose not to) and still make raw fucking emotional raging beautiful music its fucking great!!

DON'T BE AN IDIOT

STAY PUNK!

-----derek------------

--------------------kt-----------------

So I know the topic is supposed to be about what made you realize that you were punk and all those fine memories, but I’m pretty pissed right now about something else so I’m going to write about that.
Just when you think that things aren’t as bad as you thought they were, the world can’t be nearly as fucked up as you perceive it to be…it is! Is fucking hot in our apartment right now, our AC is broke and its one of the hottest days of the year thus far. All the fan is doing is blowing more humid air on to me which is really only giving me partial relief. It just started raining outside. This proves my point yet again. Everything that seems good in the world has a lining of shit, someone’s blood on it; everything is gained at the expense of someone or something else. Since I’ve been done with beauty school it’s been such a fucking pain trying to find a salon that doesn’t either screw its employees to the point that they are basically indentured servants or they are so miserable because they get paid a small percentage of what they do that it’s taken all the joy out of what they do. I am not willing to work for a corporate salon that does that to people. What ever happened to the purity of the exchange of services? I want need my fence painted…I’m going to give you this goat, and you’re going to paint my fence. You need the goat’s milk to feed your kids. Done! I was reading a review for a salon and the person’s first statement was “what do I spend more money on than my clothes and shoes combined…my hair!” FUCK YOU! That’s so fucking backwards. That materialistic vain bullshit is what I keep running into it. I love what I do, I like making people feel good about themselves, but does it have to be a price game? Do theses huge multi million dollar corporations have to be apart of this simple exchange of services? It’s a part of everything, if it’s not proctor and gamble owning Vidal Sassoon salons, its Exxon Mobile owning a Aquarium(I’m not sure if they do or not I’m just using that as an example) . It doesn’t make any sense! They infect every part of our lives, the places we think we can escape them they’re already there. Is there anyway to live without them…how do we separate ourselves from unavoidable dominance of these bloodied corporations? If you figure that one out, let me know because it’s pissing me off.

----------------------wes-----------------

well it's that time of the month again, blood is spooing out from your girl friends cunt and the columns are due.
i imagine most people would look back at thier first show and boast, "that's when i knew that i was punk rock". but in reality it's because no one wants to look bag and realize that when they were first introduced to punk rock that they were an uter douchebag and looked down apon, it wasn't until thier evolution into punk rock that they started to earn thier street cred, yo!
i was introduced to punk rock in the early years of high school, while attending fruitprot high school. my first show was a bandshell show and i was a preppy punk because thats all i knew, damn near emo. WAIT there is the chance that my first show may have been at the loading dock with bee, anyways it makes no differance. Away from rambleing and back to subject, i was introduced to punk rock in early high school, i attached myself to dirt e twat and was then enrolled in the jake hitler roadie academy, which is always taking applications. i was given the name shitdick and spent a few years being mentored, trained, and humiliated by the gems of the universe d.e.t. for some people the defining moment that they became punk might stand out but i'm not really sure which moment it was:

beeing pee'd on by king greezus himself
the muskegon police department looking for me for the kidnapping of sabrina maxwell while we lived with the avoided in milwaukee while i turned her into a recreational junkie
beating fish's ass
puking on jonh peppercock
smoking crack with john peppercok and sean chump at sean's
spending $12000 on a little more than a pound of cocaine and finishing it in 23 days
being apart of the wild angles
writing for bep
i could go on but i still have a hard time determining which moment it was. why should i try to figure out the exact moment,(oh yeah it's this months topic), if you really sit around and try to you're not punk rock plain and simple.

does anyone remember the bandshell show with the pulpit and reverend jake telling the good truth, or maybe halloween in milwaukee with g-pie in a hoolah skirt finished of with tie down still around his arm, turbo jake, and can't forget mr. t., techno twat saves devils night, or stealing from mustard plug, damn i miss those days back when there was always a show and people cared more about getting there and having a good time than riding their bikes there so they could make a political statement. yeah ride fast ride hard and stick this cock up you're ass.
i think that my most memorable show was actually in austin, when myself john peppercock and sean chump saw municipal waste, high on fire, blue cheer, and the meatmen all in the same night, we left before supersuckers, and i count it as one show because the whole time we were running into port-o-johns to do lines and it was all in the same night during a a music festival which the name esapes me and the next day we saw the chumps where a camel rep. gave me a free zippo, 2 packs of camel wides and 4 drink vouchers which i used on tall cans of pbr(i was under 21 incase you cared, oh wait i don't care if you care so fuck yer couch and you might as well go rinse your mouth out with some buckshot).
hopefully one day punk rock will regain some of it's glory, and loose it's main stream acceptance. but until then lets all go....

FUCK SHIT UP.

i think it's about time to stop this narcotic, beer, whiskey, and ego enduced ramble so until next time,
lil' tripod out!
1488

-------------------greeze-------------

when did i first know that i was punk? shit... that's tough. i remember the first time i heard minor threat and the misfits- it all happened on the same day- out skating when i was either 12 or 13- in the 7th grade. a lot of older dudes hung around back then. people that skated stuck together. it wasn't as cool to ride a skateboard as it is now. you didn't pick up chicks because you rode a skateboard. in fact, back then, your first name was probably faggot or some variation of the word (which remained throughout high school). but as i was saying- back then, if you skated, you hung out together- especially in small towns- not by choice, but by the smallest common denominator- skateboarding (and i was never good at math!). so that's how i first heard punk rock- through skateboarding. it wasn't shortly after that i first heard the dead kennedys and absolutely hated it! my friend and fellow skater larry had their tape. i couldn't stand the sound of jello's voice, but it quickly grew on me, and for quite a few years the dk's were my favorite band. i still like the dk's, but am highly unimpressed with jello's guest spots as of late- i.e.: the last fleshies album. great album, but just because jello put it out, does that mean he has to be on it? and at the same time how rad would it be to have jello be on your record? tough call. but skating and punk rock started to go hand in hand. and i gotta admit that there was a lot of metal happening back then too. metallica weren't super rich assholes yet- just assholes, and we could identify with that! this was all pre-...and justice for all, metallica's last album worth a fuck in my opinion. but this is a punk rock conversation, so enough about metallica and their metalness. but at the same time, it was in these years (mid to late 80's) that a lot of punk bands were crossing over to metal- DRI for instance- great fucking band- punk, metal, or a mix of both! but i don't think i really knew i was punk- or felt that i was punk until i was about 15, and i'm (gasp!) 33 now, equaling 18 years of being punk (toot! toot! -yup- that was my own horn!).
the first show i went to wasn't all that memorable- it was in some ways- like it was the first real show i went to, and it was at the infamous ice pick, but i went with a band from my high school (i'll leave their name out- it was that unmemorable!), and they kinda sucked, and the band they played with kinda sucked, but it was still a good time. but like i said, it was my first time at the ice pick- and once inside, it was like some hidden little place where i was meant to be... i was a little straight-edger then in my mid-teens and saw a lot of fucked up shit. a lot of shit that i wouldn't understand for a few years, and other shit that it would take a few more. and i'm not talking about just the straight-edge/no-edge world here either. life lessons...
but i was 15 then. punk rock- at least in muskegon, was still violent- shit your pants scared kinda violence... and a lot of real hardcore skins.
when i was 15-18 or so we were out hardcore at night fucking shit up just to fuck shit up- just for the pure destruction of whatever was in our paths at the time, everywhere we went. to tell you the truth- i thought i had made that phrase up- no shit. me and my two best friends would visit the older brother of one at college on some weekends. that college was ferris state university, or FSU. i'd been a long time fan of the license plate game- still am- so i was like "fuck yeah- fuck shit up!"
and that we did, and in some ways still do today. we didn't know that there would be a band called blatz that would have a song by the same name, 2000 miles away, or that other people were doing the shit we were out doing, or even using that phrase.
as usual, i digress- back to shows... the first most memorable show (i think) was taking the two aforementioned best friends to the ice pick on the infamous "pumpkin" night- a devil's night show- i know the chud's headlined, and i think weapon x played too, but it could have been means to end (way pre-ned nibiru). but it left elvis roy blind in one eye for 3 days... after that, every single ice pick xmas show holds a special place in my heart, the first time i played with the badcocks, which also happened to be a xmas show, and a punk rock dream come true... and honestly every band that i've been a part of- sheepherder, dirt e. twat, twat force 5, low life scum- they've all had their high points, but all highs have their lows... the shows that i put on or had a hand in are all special to me. it's too hard to pick just one. kinda like those potato chips- jay's... or lay's... some damn potato chip- "betchya can't eat just one!".
i can't leave without mentioning zines- i saw my first one when i was 12 or 13- club homeboy, a freestyle/bmx/skate zine, and from the first time i saw CH, i knew i wanted to make zines, and have been on and off since i was 19. they've been a big part of my life- not just making them and either selling or giving them away (although there are joys in that too!), but meeting new people, or corresponding with people from all over the world who i'll probably never meet, making new connections, and everything that you put into one (so yeah- making it is way up there!). and without making cut and paste zines, i never would have made this site, which has also had it's ups and downs...and i'm happy that it's starting to get back up, which takes more than just me! so thank you's to all the contributors!!! one more dream come true: even before i made my first zine, i wanted my own copier, and now i finally have one!