october 2008: how do you feel about the constant cycle of people coming and going in
punk and/or in and out of your own life, and does it surprise or fail to
surprise you, and also, how do you deal with it and balance good
memories/treasured times and still move forward?

CASEY im sooo late on this one. sorry. is anyone even reading it for my column? of course im the coolest punk left in muskegon. screw sock, he is an elitest slop that thinks he is better than everyone else... oh wait isn't that what I just did? who cares. I have been laying low. I have been having numerous amounts of my friends come up to me and ask me "what's wrong?" lately, when absolutely nothing wrong was happening at the time. That is weird. I guess I have changed, I am not the crazy flourescent clothes vest wearing punk I used to be. I guess I have changed with the times, after all im still punk, still here. that is more than most can say. So that leads me onto this weeks topic. Deserters of the Punk scene: The Muskegon Scene is at an alltime low. I'd say just me, sock, rachelle, and jake are left in this town. Art has moved, and so many others before him have fled in one way or another. I don't say fuck you to anyone who has left, they weren't really into it to begin with if they aren't still stuck here like I am today. I am not stuck here unwillingly however I cannot and do not want to leave punk, I am so greatful for all it has brought me (and not brought me) in my life. Without a big fuck you to those deserters, what is left? All I can really say is times back then were great, and the scene really was rockin' with more people in it. It is hard to set up and build a good scene with so few people, but you just have to phase quantity (allthough nice at times) is sure not better than quality. Brandon Feister, he left to join some macho group, its been 2 years or more since we last hung out. I can honestly say I have forgotten about him now, and don't care where or how he is even doing. Cold hearted? He was my best friend, he ruined my thoughts on best friendships when he left. AJ watson, where the hell is he? Travis Lind, dead. Wes Zufelt... haha wes must sure still be punk if he is writing a column here on BEP. Or is he? Joining the army, to run away from your problems at home is pathetic. Disgrace to humanity. That was my bit of Shit talking, afterall what is browneyepie without shit talking? Wes loves it. Was it really a POUND of Cocaine!? I am not in the best of writing moods, it is really early and I have to go film a football game in the wetness to make rent this month. All I can really say is I used to look down on people for leaving the punk scene, but I have learned to not dwell on the past. It will only leave you low. There is a high number of deserters, and nobody really joining punk these days. PUNK IS DEAD. not as long as im alive.
SOCK-------->LONG AND RAMBLY goddamn, sorry i couldn't get to a library to type this till now, and my roommates aren't too keen on sharing with me! so sorry!!! sorry! sorry! geez it's hard to get started about cycles of people; i think about this stuff all the time and have a mass of thoughts in my head. well... I used to feel pretty bitter towards a "lifer" friend of mine who "sold out". To me those are quick ways of describing someone who is their intense, insane, radical self that i loved enough to become close to them and that they have found themselves and it is them and they will be who they are till they die; "lifer"... and "selling out" is just that act of losing it; becoming a s-q-u-a-r-e and a boooooooooring "adult"(say in "high class" voice with your nostrils flared). Ok, I admit I can get massively sidetracked and a generous portion of the content of my writing tends to be a sort of explanation of my writing process, but I must explain here that this topic involves a lot of words that I am stuffing between quotation marks because they have a meaning to the normal world that differs from my ideas. Plus I'm using funny phrases and slogans that are used frequently.. But I don't feel so bitter anymore. Nothing is surprising, everything is disheartening... The truest of the true, the "till deaths", the "i'll never do that" stuff. I used to be a believer! I used to be wide-eyed and excited and felt arm-in-arm with many motherfuckers. And even as I write this I think how you might think that this is going to be the most jaded thing you've ever read in your life when I say I OFTEN FEEL TOTALLY ALONE but you would just have to listen up real good, keep your mind open and also converse with me to figure it out. The last one can't happen in this forum, and it's vitally important, so if you don't get what i'm trying to say, blame the format or call me up and lets talk. (Not to sound self-righteous, like what I say has some high and mighty importance. I hope you don't get that, because I don't feel that way. I'm just trying to figure some stuff out and am insanely interested in how others feel. Why do you think I suggested this topic for these columns?) I got pissed! I got mega depressed. I really let a lot of my emotions ride on the actions of others. And it's really healthy to put yourself out there if you have supportive friends (which i always have had in the past 5 plus years or so) and need them and let them give things to you and in equal exchange, take from them. It's called sharing. We learned it in kindergarten, but no one was paying attention, and we never were taught it again. We were actually taught the opposite at our jobs, later on in school, and on the street, at the store, etc... (jesus, people are talking in the goddamn library and i can't concentrate!) The selfish individualistic mindset becomes the way to operate, and we become stubborn and proud and focus on a significant other, monogamous partner to fullfill every need, and I simply do not believe that one person can be everything for another person. People are too diverse, beautiful, and changing/growing/learning to base so much on a couple. And, fuck, that pressure! "Be everything for me, forever!" Ha! No thanx! I want freedom, I want my motherfucking friends, and I want them there all the time and I want to be there for them all the time. I don't want to wait around till their main relationship fizzles and they need me. I want to be loved and show love and never take them for granted and i want them to do the same for me, and I want it now. It's not too much to want! But woah, what the hell is this column about, anyays?! Trying to stay on track here. Ha ha. It's great to depend on friends. But when so many come and go, when so many eyes go from on fucking fire, to glazed over, what do you do? Well, I got mad. I got sad. I went mad. I have hit lower lows in the past year or something than I ever have. I don't know if I can't stand seeing so many crazy freaks (crazy=good, freak=good) turn into well dressed bores or what it is, but one thing is for sure... I don't feel angry and I don't feel surprised. I expect it and I have shrugged my shoulders, "Yeah, what's new?" too many times in response to some former nut working some shmoozy job or killing people overseas or whatever it is. This world has an insane pull, yanking many many many into the depths of straighthood. Leading the straight and narrow, just fucking blazing along those laid out paths, following all the rules, being fucking boring and complacent as ever. But why should we/I get angry? Anger doesn't have a place here. I'd be embarrassed that I used to feel that way if I didn't know that it was a part of growing and discovering yourself, and I have found out that there is plenty of "BUMMER!" going thru my head, but nothing like anger. Why? Why be angry unless you're insecure about your own life, right? I've seen that annoyed reaction to a sell-out, and a lot of it is just super sadness at seeing a friend give in, but a good portion is probably fear that that could be you! But with security with self comes a sort of mellowness too it, or a kind of expectation for the constant loss of friends. Nothing is a suprise, and I'm content with that. Ok, that's a lie. I'm not content; I fucking hate this kind of world that breeds this kind of instabillity and apathy, but there is a sort of peace with self that is reached where there's no need to react crabbishly to beliefs withering away. There is no fucking "crew" I feel a part of, or no rules or creed or gang mentallity I feel tied to (and if you disagree, I'll slap you across the face with my Vegan Bible) and dissapointment will exist; always; but there is no rage, annoyance, anger with the person and there is a plethora of fury towards this usually stupid world that I often hate! It fucking shatters my heart to see people care so much and then flat out stop. Ignorance is bliss and the taste of it is vomit-inducing! This is no option. Complacency is pathetic and oppression is happening to someone else and out of sight and mind... until it swings around and comes for you... It is really hard for me to handle, and as an often incredibly mentally instable person, I rejoice in steadfast, open minded people. Yes, both of those things can exist in a person and it is insanely attractive (in every sense) and makes me want to be comrades with these people! People that are great listeners, but don't back down rule. Those with solid convictions and a heart and ears that are welcoming are people I want to be surrounded by and those that acgnowledge the ugly reality instead of ducking from it are fellow warriors. It is a hard struggle to keep your head up and feel like your life is really anything positive. To hear about all of the horrible shit that goes on in our world that isn't in the corporate newspapers is quite overwhelming and super mega confusing to transform into action... BURNOUT. It's easy to burn out and it's no surprise anymore when someone gives up, and not that my way is right or anything; I'm not even talking about some sort of way. I'm talking in general about the P-U-N-X! Not exclusively, but it's fun to say and spell out "punx", and when I think of the word I think of cooky, nutty, crazy people who are clearing paths. That's what I think of, and that's the pride I have in my weird habits, excentric patterns and challenging of norms. Simply that, can't we challenge what is so laid out? I mean, this is like the most popular song topic of punk bands ever. You have to figure you have police hatred, religion disgust, government criticism, and then the "it's my life/challenge the norm" songs as the most popular punk song topics ever and continuing on today. But why is this idea of challenging what is accepted as "the way to be" or "what you do" so short lived? I could write forever about this and not come up with anything, and this seems like a huge blob of randomness to me, so, sorry!, but I do know some things: 1. Most of your friends will join the rat race of the world 2. It's really sad but gets less surprising (see #1) 3. You can still share old memories with them and keep things good by just reflecting on the good times 4. I always want to move forward, so sometimes doing #3 gets really old 5. These old friends may have to evolve into a part time and/or more distant friend or even down to acquaintance because of #4 6. Feeling so alone leads to both rock-bottom-depression for friends and rage towards this world but also to a comfortable solitude and security with self 7. Friends are the best, don't ever take them for granted, and loss can be devastating but there are always new friends to be made, and that is the positive aspect of ever flowing cycles; you can keep meeting new people and developing just as fulfilling (or even more fulfilling!) relationships. root beer & seaweed sock xxx
-------------- CORTNEE -------------- The constant cycle of people coming and going in punk (and as a result, in and out of my own life) has been something I've been forced to get used to. For whatever reason, for some people punk IS just a phase and they WILL fade away. Or should I replace that "some" with "most"? Out of all the people I've met through punk, I can count on two hands the people who've stayed since I first showed my face. Those few, rare people who've kept that fire burning as long and as brightly as I have. Part of me would like to say I've become numb to this sort of disappearing act that so many people who've been important to me have pulled, but that would be a lie. I can't say it surprises me anymore, but I will say it doesn't hurt any less. If only everyone thought growing up is giving up, forever. How do you ever deal with cherished friends turning into ghosts? It will always be hard, but it will always be happening. I'm a nostalgia freak. Everything reminds me of the past: Songs, smells, feelings, seasons, movies, quotes, new friends' mannerisms reminding me of old friends' quirks. But I've learned that old cliche that change really is a necessary evil. And I've learned that letting go is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, but one of the most important and most therapeutic, in the end. I try to balance good memories and treasured time with moving forward by letting the past stay in the past. Realizing those people and those times shaped who I am and that I will never, ever forget those faces. Out of all the friends I've made through punk since I was 14 years old, I have two left. And fuck, do I miss some of those other assholes sometimes. But I don't miss who they are today, I miss who they were then. And I'll never get those people back. Knowing that, and being able to play those good times back like a movie projector in my head, keeps me going on. Maybe I'm lucky. Maybe my motto of going into everything with no expectations translated well with punk. I remember conversations with people who just never ended up feeling like punk was a home to them. Talking to her through nights she was drunk and felt a need to declare her feelings and I wasn't too anxious to get into a deep conversation. Those nights were enlightening. Hearing someone's side of the subculture wars that was the complete opposite of mine. She felt alienated where I felt accepted, she saw cliques where I saw friends. Maybe it helped that I had been in relationships with boys in bands, maybe it helped that I had been in a long-lasting band myself; but even so, I hate to hear that any sort of exclusion exists. I want her to feel as included as I do, and I don't even feel that included. But punk was never about acceptance to me, although acceptance was often a nice bonus. Punk was about the music, the atmosphere, and the freaks. I didn't have to like the freaks and they didn't have to like me, but we were in it together either way. Seeing the importance in her viewpoint makes me want to be a better person. I try to smile more, talk to more people, and be a good example. Remember- punk isn't about owing anybody anything, it isn't about who you know. Although it is about those things for some people, I try not to associate with them. Punk is about something entirely different to me. Its about making lifelong friends with people on tour playing your basement, its about creating a forum for discussion, its about being able to embrace your sexuality and not feel bad about it, its about screaming in a band and letting the female punk perspective out of its cage, its about music, its about fun, its about social change, its about skinny dipping in the lake underneath the stars with ten strangers and four of your closest friends, its about girlfriends and bros and sex and living and growing. And its about so much more than that. What's it about to you?
--------- Travis ---------- Wow what a sweet topic this month. The hard part with these topics is that my mind is always swirling and its hard for me to get all my thoughts down on paper. Or computer as it would seem. There are many feelings I have about the constant cycle of people going in and out of the punk scene. Some of the people you see or meet you know they wont last. Some people will come a few times and find out its not for them, maybe when the big bands stop coming and the scene becomes a bit thin. Maybe they will stop when things get sketchy and the basement shows are all you have left. Usually I think people end up leaving the punk scene when they decide that all they really want to be is an audience member. I think just like with anything else you are only as big as you want to be. If you just want to remain in the audience then you will probably get bored. It is those people who start band, who feed and host out of town bands, who set up shows, and who openly participate in organizing and being in the scene that will stay around for some time. Also I think its important that when people are leaving your hometown scene or moving somewhere they are not leaving punk. I know lots of people who just travel and hang around, I know a ton of farm punks. There are people staying at my house in Lansing who drive a veggie oil bus and built a house out of straw bails in Missouri where they live. I think the worst thing for a scene is when it becomes very exclusive and is not opening to people that look different then the norm for that scene or have different ideas. I dont necessarily look punk but my ideals are punk ideals and I live life as punk rock as possible. Not even all the music I listen to is punk. Although many people would debate that Godspeed You! Black Emperor can be totally punk. I think they are. We need to be accepting to farm punks, to crusty punks and to street punks. To all the travelling punks out there, I am happy to see you when you come around, but just because you travel around away from our scene doesnt mean you dont belong there and arent going to be welcome there. I love the fact that even though I have moved to Lansing and am trying to participate in the scene here convertering my basement to a DIY space I will always love the scene in West Michigan and never forget it. Some people dont stay punk forever, and I dont know if that means they never really were punk or not. I dont know. I just think of those good times, and leave the bad. Its good to learn from the bad, but really its not something you want to hang on to. It makes you bitter. Dwell on those good times with the people you loved and keep having good times with the people who are there. I know in my life I will always stay punk at my heart... even though my interests will not always be solely punk, I will never loose it. Greeze! I dont think I will be able to record Lowlife live at the tranny show, but let me know a day when you are all around and I will come down to Muskegon and do it. I cant get the board I want to use to work with my laptop. I can try something small... otherwise lets just get everyone sober and do a really good recording.
----------------karen---------------- "Teenage rebellion is just fine as long as you stop once you turn eighteen Thousands of punks turned to society's tools There is something in their eyes You can tell they sold out Remember punk is more than teenage rebellion .......You look around What do you see? One to replace every five that leave and the list is millions long" -"The List" Filth That filth song is probably quoted 4 other times by this month's columnist, but it describes perfectly what we're talking about this month. It never occured to me when i got into punk that people would "drop out." I dont know if i really thought at all that one day most of my friends around me that i felt so close to would just suddenly stop hanging out and become people that i no longer had anything in common with. I lived in florida for almost all of 2004. When i came back, all i could think about was going to shows and seeing all of my friends that i hadnt seen in a year. So when i got back and half of the people who i thought would always be around were no longer there, it almost felt like i had this incomplete feeling in my heart. It was really depressing. It took me a while to understand quite why this happened. What was the one thing that made them decided that they no longer wanted to be punk? Was it a person? Was it a bad experience? Was it college? I still dont know, i guess different reasons for each person, but its still just as sad when you see someone go. One thing that's just really awkward for me is seeing people that used to be in punk, totally transformed. Seeing them in the grocery store and saying an awkward "hello" which translates to "oh...i see you're still into punk" and "oh, wow, you've really changed. This is weird." In most cases, we no longer hang out after the "transformation". Sometimes its just the new friends making fun of them for "hanging out with some punk kid" and sometimes you dont want to realize how much you dont have in common anymore. West Michigan is lucky to always have a high turn over rate when it comes to punk, but there are always a couple of people that you will always remember making a lot of memories with that you'll miss. I'm fortunate to have a bunch of kids that have been around for a while that ive just gotten to be better friends with because we've all stayed in punk. Here's to old friends.
----------------kevin----------------- how i feel on kids that sick around or leave, hmmmmmmmm iv seen more often than not poeple leavin for whatever reasons i think it's all bullshit, i realy hold a grudge against alot of people for this very reason iv heard peoples bullshit excuses , my feelings are scenes and cumunitys are bullshit eveything is bullshit, it's all fucking highschool in the fucking streets. i hate most people i meet just caus most of em will just end up a wasted memory, another story to tell around the camp fire or some shit, im here caus i love music it's all i got, it's all i want, im not going no where as far as music goes, new faces come new faces go, the ones that realy truely love and need the fucking music are the ones that stick around and stay around, the rest are just attention deprived poeple working out the angst trying to fit in or whatever find a sense of belonging thats cool and all but it sucks when people flake out, hide out do whatever then just pop back up like everythings cool, it's not cool i want to pound you in the head with a tack hammer but naw just smile and wave, it's kinda like str8 edge kids turning to drinking or pills but not quite at least those kids stick around it's always good to see old faces you haven't seen in a while, it's funny how many people say there in it for life, it's funny how many poeple come and go, old, young and shit but i hate hearing about the good old days form older poeple thaint aint been anywhere in ages and htink there gonna tell me whats up, naw i don't think so, none of this shit matters what matters is how much money you make at the door to pay the bands so i guess i realy don't give a fuck who comes around as long as they pay at the door come once come twice stay all yer life i don't give a fuck, just stay the fuck outa my way. hate to see ya come, love to see ya go bob pringles a fuck didn't ya know Puke on You #22 out x mas
-------------------zach---------------   thats tough i guess im always surprised by it when maybe i shouldnt be ,but i guess ive been a little guilty of myself for the last little while but in no way would i ever say i wasnt in punk. but i know a lot of people who have left alot that i was pretty close to but i guess life just mooves on and does so differantly for differant people. i think its easy for me to move foward cause those times were the best times to hold on to and there are always the new times just ahead to look forward to. you cant always sulk around in the past and ive found its just eaisier to get going rather than stay behind...but yeah now all i got to do is find a band... STAY PUNK!!! -Zach-
-----derek------------ dear browneyepie reader, from the time i started regularly going to shows and seeing the same faces i've probably forgotten more than i remember. when i was 15 and 16 (early 90's) there was a nice scene in grand haven that pretty much had weekly shows. when shows weren't going on everyone was hanging out on the street corner right downtown, or up on the hilltop behind the old skate park. after about a year and a half it just disappeared. those were good times. but they were some fucked up times too. we were trying to find ourselves. trying to figure out what we knew was right and what was bullshit. trying to be cool. fucking up. trying to hang. and failing. other than cole and brandon i only see one person, monica, from those days. and i only see her once every few years. then in the grand rapids flared up in the mid 90's along division. the reptile house, the shelter, the basement, the enclave/stone soup all on the same damn block over a few year period. same thing happened there. pop punk was fucking awesome at that point. screeching weasel, the queers, the vintictives and the pist. pansy division running through the crowd naked in a basement that the fire department caught onto and shut down. good nights there along division. i even saw monica once in a while, still going to the occassional show. but again, those were some fucked up times. exploring sexuality and drugs, being a horny teenager. back then i still danced at shows. life was going to shows, skating and buying records. i don't hang out with anyone now that i hung out with at that point in time. i'd like to say that they all changed, but we all did. i don't see any of them around. when that era died out there was a weird period there with a bunch of weird muskegon shows in weird places. the chistians were making a play for punk rock. i spent a lot of this time going to shows in detroit. it was a hard scene to get used to, or get into. i wasn't hardcore enough. by this time i knew for sure that i wasn't a social butterfly and talking wasn't my thing. it was was becoming harder and harder to meet anyone new or make some sort of connection. i watched the music in person that i listened to at home and that was it. those were lonely days. introspective. when i'm in detroit i see some of those folks that we going to shows at the time. they're still around. i still don't know them. but as far as the life cycle of punk, they're still hanging around. then somebody flipped the switch in muskegon and changed my life. late 90's. shows started popping up at palmer hall. the theater down in lakeside tried to have shows, but they were terrible. the ice pick was always around and it seemed to start gainning momentum at this point. brandon and jake would be able to lay all that out to a T. and west michigan became awesome for a long time with muskegon, grand haven, grand rapids and it's surrounding towns, and those fuckers up in around freemont and shit. vegan potlucks, hippie houses, twat squats; a sense of community, family more than friendship. i met claire. we lost friends. some of the best times of my life were made at this point. i'm not sure how it all happened. not sure how it all fell apart either, but it did - for me anyway. one day i just felt completely disconnected. the idea of being in a band was appealing. having been in one it showed me things about people that i wish i'd never seen. it's like with skateboarding, i love skating but wouldn't want it to be my job because having to skate to make rent would take the fun out of it. i love punk and being in a band took a lot of that love out of me. i fucking loved that band. loved those people, but seeing how people interact within the scene, how we create little rockstars and built little pedestals just bummed me out. let me again stress that it wasn't the band, but being in a band that threw me. i lost faith in everything around me. lost faith in a lot of things i held dear. i still see a bunch of these people from time to time. some of the best people i know. hanging with them makes me miss those days. i found kt and we hid out for a while before moving to chicago. while this current era in west michigan was in it's ealry days i still saw people come and go. it's just the way it goes. filth's 'the list' nailed it. there's always a new one to replace one that fades away. sometimes there's an influx of newcomers and sometimes there's a dry spell with no shows. people came and go. friends move on to better their lives. and friends turn into people you just don't see anymore and you don't know why. these days i'm just mostly over people. i still love seeing west michigan kids. love 'em to death. but i'm glad i live over here at the same time. it's fucking huge here. i'm 1 in 2.9 million here. people here bury themselves in ipods and cellphones to avoid contact with people on the street. we don't make eye contact. we don't say hello. we're annonymous. no drama here. no disappointment. the downfall being that there's a very small scene here and it's tight knit as fuck and hard to penetrate. one of the first basement shows i found here i got made fun of for smelling of patuoli, however the fuck you spell it. thanks though for putting me back in high school right in the middle of the one place i'm supposed to feel comfortable - at a show. and a hearty welcome to you too, you fucking asshole. eat organic shit you hip fucking hypocrite. all you can do is move forward. can't live in the past forever. i don't know what it is with you fuckers, but i saw livejournal the other day and you all still put up photo collections from forever ago and everyone gets all sentimental and lovely. then it's right back to the gossip though, damnit. this era's had a good run. longest one yet, by far. it's had it's ups and downs, but keeps on cranking out bands and setting up shows. i hear grand rapids is awesome right now. it's good to get new blood in from time to time. if you have 30 new kids coming to shows regularly, statistically 1 of them should be a drummer, or at least know a drummer. you need to keep the drummers coming in because they are worth their weight in nutritional yeast. and it's always a bummer to watch some people fade away. but according to yr parents you can't stay young and punk forever. this is for those who've become the forgotten and those who've faded away. but it's also for those who are just realizing that there's something beyond what clear channel and mtv are showing you. those who are open to something, something that once you cut through all the petty bullshit and get to the core, is an amazing thing. hang in there, derek
___________kt____________ This is a really good topic. I feel like its very befitting to a lot of feelings that i've been experiencing lately. I live in this huge city, full of people, and i can't seem to find one person that i feel a connection with or that i share interests with. When i moved to Grand Rapids it was on a whim. I was just out of high school, and hated it at first, but over time it became my second home. I met so many good people quickly! The kind people you look forward to see and you just are on the same page with. I started going to more shows and meeting more kids and forming these bonds with people that are sorely missed now. They become a part of you and part of your memories of the really good times. I remember the first time i met Jim "fish" Frye or Jeff Knoll, and a smile comes to my face. West Michigan is so near and dear to my heart that its hard being away. Being now that i live in another state, i feel a hole in me, i feel the absence of those people i made connections with and it sucks. I miss the shows, the hanging out, the funny stories of drunk times singing Cocksparr as loud we can walking down Fulton ave. Its hard coming back an having more and more people that I don't know, i'm missing out! So i guess to answer the real questions here...how do i feel about the cycle of people coming and going? Well people are going to come and people are going to go..but those people who leave an impression on you, who change your life even in some small way, are never really gone completely. They are alive in those stories, and those songs that remind you of a show you went to with them. Case and point...monkey mike, Penquin, misdemeanor "the real" luke conner or Keith, alive in our memories and stories of good times we've shared with them. So i guess that it doesn't surprise me..that people fade in and fade out..i guess those people who leave didn't find what they were looking for in the punk scene or they find a drug habit. (boooo) Keeping my balance of reminiscing of old memories, and trying to make new ones has been hard for me. I don't really try i guess...i just make mix tapes and try to keep in contact with as many people as possible. That's what really hard about the good times is that after they're over you wish they weren't. I could say that its not healthy to live in the past..blah blah blah. But whatever. Every day is a struggle for balance in other ways so what's the point in depriving your self of the memories that make you happy to think about. Now don't get me wrong, i'm having a good time here in Chicago, i've been to some cool shows. I saw Reagan Youth/DOA last night and that was fucking bad ass. I'm in the mist of writing a new zine...I'm reading a lot enjoying the fall. Since i missed last month's deadline i just want to add a list of a few songs that have super happy memories to me of the kids and the scene that i miss. Hiroshima- Dirt Tv Dinners - Citizen Fish Mother of Pearl- Roxy Music Bad Town- Op Ivy Fuck shit up - Blatz Those anarcho punks are mysterious...-Against me (reminds me of Lauren and Doc) Everything turns grey- Agent orange ( this song reminds me of Dan "archy" Howard) haha. I'm sure they are more but that all i can think of right now.. oxox katie
----------------------wes----------------- smokes,check, music, check, wait somethings missing but what is it? oh wait i know i'm sober that's what it is. that's right sports fans by doctors orders, thanks to my new medical condition and the treatment that i will have started by the time you post yourself infront of this generation version of the idiot box, i am on a break from my friend alcohol. being said don't expect much for this months column, i don't have much hope for my creative juices with out my muse, damn i miss booze. the constant coming and going of "'attendance" in the punk rock scene i believe is a part of the punk scene. the punk scene offers so much for the young outcast adolence, but for some that is all that it is. a young outcast adolence phase, which is justifieable. not everyone is cut out to be looked at the way we are their entire life. not everyone is up to the challenge of questioning society for the rest of the life, or the hard life that we all tend to live. i know, i know, some of you are looking at your computer right now with that look that your dog has when it heres your voice on the answereing machine. you're asking yourslef wait isn't that son of a bitch in the ARMY!? when was the last time i saw the douchebag? what's this sellout talking about. well if you would just hold on a minute i'm getting to it. those of us that are willing to commit ourself to the abuse, the outcast lifestyle, the constant questioning of what we're told is the right thing to do, are what keep the true spirit of punk alive. think back to when you entered the scene, the old timers, the people a few years older than you that you looked up to, slowly but surley that is becoming all of us. the mentors to the next generation. with out the scenesters coming and going i don't think we would appreciate what we do have. if every 15 year old that put on a pair of chucks and went to a show was still around think of how crowded it would be. those scenesters are the weak being weeded out and without that "punk rock selection" everything would become watered down over time and punk rock would lose the edge that drew so many of us towards it in the first place. from what i've seen, after so long in the scene one may mellow their appearance, may shed the "punk uniform" of vest, and liberty spikes, may get a fulltime job, but that isn't abandoning the punk rock lifestyle, it's adapting it. adapting it to meet there needs of survivel. when i first got into punk rock that was the best time of my life. the twat squat, shows every weekend and sometimes during the week, sqatting, stealing, and just allaround fuckin shit up. nothing in my life will ever compare to those times, but it's those times that help me with the dull times. anytime it's starts to get slow or monotanious i just remeber those times and before you know it i've been inspired to go out and FUCK SHIT UP. when you remeber all of the shows that went on in your past and you're bitching that there hasn't been a good show in a while, get off your ass and put a show together. don't live in the past but feed off of it. when youre sitting around complaining that the scene is dead use those memories as a fuel to bring it back. well that's just how i see things, so if you're shaking your head left to right thinking that i'm completly wrong and what not, well then you can go fuck yourself. not a bad rambleing for being sober, so to end this i would just like to quote my friends the meatmen: kill em cause you don't like what they wear kill em cause their stink fouls up the air kill kill kill the hippies hey greeze not sure how well i stuck to the topic but i banged my head angainst the keyboard for a while and this is all that would ooze out. laters
-------------------greeze------------- i feel like i could go on & on...as far as our punk rock scenes go, it seems kinda like this little high school that has its yearly cliques and cliches that come and go, with major changes every four years. the gossip is constant and ever changing. most faces stay for a few years- if that, and go off to college, or move away, or break up, or have kids, or die, or get married- whatever. then there's those of us that this is our chosen path and stick around. but my high school cliche is stupid. because it ain't fucking high school. although that's when a lot of people get into punk give or take a year or two. but then some people do go to college, or move away, or break up, or have kids, or die, or get married-whatever. therefore, faces come and go. there's been as many good periods of years as their has bad- a handful of years where there's like 20 people in your local scene and it's bands playing for bands with a handful of fans, and mark bitching the whole way! then all of a sudden a certain band will get together, and wether it's whose in the band, or the music they play, or a mixture of both- everything kinda explodes and the scene is huge again, full of it's little cliques...just like high school! but shit is cool for a few years or so, and shows are big, and bands are plentiful- some nights there's even more than one show to choose from (which kinda sucks in such a small area in my opinion.)! since i've been around a little while, i can't necessarily say it's gotten any easier dealing with the changes when they happen. i still get bummed out when bands break up. and when only a handful of people show up for a show, or when people move away, and all that other shit i already mentioned twice. yet i've come to expect it. i know it's gonna happen, and when it does it'll hit hard. and it's inevitable. it's going to happen. the longer you stick around one place, the more change you're going to see, and with it, the more history you'll know. and with that experience comes a lot of friends, knowledge, respect, years of fun, bands you'll never forget, and a lot of treasured times- which in the end far outweighs the hurt of change; the pain that when it's over it's just a memory. remembering can be good or bad- sometimes i can go either way. like the grand haven seen derek mentions- those days are long gone, and a few of the people are still around, doing new bands, keeping it together. but it's few and far between. i still pull out albums and tapes from years ago and get flooded with memories and it feels good... it feels good to run into old friends that you haven't seen in a long time- most of the time. there's been so many good times, good bands, good friends, and they all hold a special place in my heart. but THE CHUMPS said it best: GOOD TIMES R.I.P. yesterday's gone, and tomorrow may never come. it's hard to keep that in mind, but when i do life seems to be a little better. just a little more comforting. like today, when i was sick (and still am), but went to jam with a couple dude's in my girlfriend's brother's band just for the hell of it. and it felt good. we all had a good time. that's all it was about. so if i don't wake up, i had a good time today- sick or not. Til next month….. p.s. thanks to sock for coming up with the topic this month!!!

 

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